The Ledge
by Briee
Summary: James wants to kill himself, but can Lily save him? Rated for suicidal thoughts [OneShot]


**Author's note: Since my beta hadn't been replying tomy e-mails, my stories will have a few spelling mistakes. But, since most people on this site aren't famous novelist, I think it will be accepted. Right?**

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A crush. That's all it was. But, something in the back of James Potter's mind, told him other wise. Yes, it had started out as a crush. First and foremost, it was a challenge,but as time went by, it developed into a crush, a full blow obsession, and eventually, love.

If only Lily knew.

It was her fault he was doing what he was doing. It was her fault James hated himself, hated life. Well, it was partially her fault. His parents death was what had pushed him over the ledge.

The ledge... a wonderful place that no longer seemed to get the adrenaline pumping. After he heard of his parents death, along with a nice slap and harsh words of one Lily Evans, the Astronomy Tower ledge had become his new best friend.

No one understood. Not Sirius, who took out his anger by sleeping with a bunch of girls. Not Remus, who just looked like a lost puppy dog behind his books. Not Peter, who just vanished to some unknown location after receiving the news. Not even Lily, who gave her sympathies and just left.

But soon, the ledge didn't feel as welcoming as it first had. A mirthless laugh came from James' lips, sounding unreal to even his ears. It almost seemed as if the ledge, an object or rather a piece of building, was inviting him to just let himself fall. Fall to his death.

Crazy, he knew it was. But, somehow, the ledge seemed right. Death would do him good, would do everyone good.

Pills hadn't helped him. Remus or Sirius would find the pills, and bring him to Hospital Wing. His knife had already scared his arms. Yet, he was still alive, still breathing... still hurting.

Sitting by the ledge, James pulled out his potions knife. One more little cut wouldn't hurt.

A storm began as James pieced a piece of his flesh. Rain poured inside the tower, soaking the black haired man, yet he didn't seem to notice. Nothing matter, not anymore.

James watched as the rain began mixing with the blood running down his arm. It stung, yet it felt cooling at the same time. Maybe his head was just light-headed from the loss of blood, but James could swear he saw a face in the blood, as it pooled in his palm.

Lily. That's what the face looked like. A strange sight, the woman he loved in the palm of his hand. His blood forming her face.

James shook his head. Thinking about her just made him cut more, cut deeper.

He felt somewhat relieved as each new cut began to bleed. James brought the knife down to a part of his skin that was not scared, feeling pain course through he body. But this was the only way he felt human, the only way to feel something.

Feeling cold and empty left a hollow feeling in his heart. The cuts brought a feeling. It was his savior, and it was killing him.

He got up, swayed a bit from losing so much blood, and stood near the ledge. Tonight, tonight was the night. Tonight it would all end, tonight he would feel empty no more.

He stood on the ledge, thunder booming at a distance. He thought of the suicide note in his backpack. Hopefully, no one would find it while he was still living, still breathing. Hopefully, Sirius would do his own homework tonight...

He had to be perfect. Expectations were high. Had to be best at Quidditch, best of class, best friend, best every bloody thing there was. It was too much pressure, too much expectations to live up to.

What sounded like a door slamming not to far away brought James back from his thoughts, but only passed it for thunder. But the sound of feet on the stairwell was too loud to ignore.

The door slammed open and in came Lily, who was panting heavily. Her red hair was sticking out from her ponytail, and her green eyes shining with tears.

"James," she cried, "don't do it!" James bowed his head. "Lily, I must."

"No, you can't! I can't let you end your life," she sobbed, trying desperately to get James to come of the ledge.

"And why can't I? It's my life, and I can end it if I want. It's not like I have anything to live for."

"James, just look at me!" pleaded Lily. James turned to her, and saw tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why? Why do you want me to live? It's not like you care. And, how the hell did you find me?"

"I do care James. More than you'll ever know if you don't come down. I know how you feel, believe me! I found your note when I tripped over your backpack, and knew were to find you."

"How the hell are you supposed to know how I bloody feel? Your life is perfect!" James cried, letting his tears finally fall.

Lily ducked her head. "Because I too lost my parents and tried to end my life."

James, for once, was shocked. "Y-Y-You tried to e-e-end your life?"

Lily nodded. James' eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you."

"You don't believe me? Well how's this for poof!" Lily cried, lifting her sleeves, revealing scars leading all the way up her arms, "And this," Lily lifted her shirt to show scars on her stomach, "and even this!" Scars all over her shoulders were red.

James came down off the ledge. "Why?"

"The same reason that you want to end your life."

"You didn't try to kill yourself because you don't love me." James snapped.

"No, but I tried to kill myself because I thought you didn't sincerely love me."

James stared at his feet. "But I do love you, more than you'll ever know."

"And, I love you. It just took me a while to figure it out."

The two teenagers kissed under the rain, ignoring the wetness and the coldness. To them, it was dry and warm when they were together.

The End

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**Author's note: Dark, I know. But I love it. Reviews are welcomed.**


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